For
the first time you pass by my eyes, my heart asked me “Who is he?” My conscious
mind tried to answer “He will be your new friend, in some times...” Then my
heart said again, “Why did he visible at my eyesight, who is he??” and again my
conscious mind tried to answer “Might be…because he resembled someone you might
know…” after that, my heart spoke “Are you my . . . destiny?”…
After
some times, now we’re friend. But we’re rarely talked to each other because you
are a boy and I’m a girl. Some moments, I greet you in chat room, just to get
to know some other side of you, might be your thinking, or your principles in
life, your motivation or your hobbies and likes. Also can be your thought of
me? Hmm…that’s how I know you. More or less, it’s just you who might not even
aware of my intention. But then it’s alright, it’s not your fault at all. It’s
my own fault, for admiring you in silence.
I do
realize this one thing that will always keep us in distance, “our religion”. It’s
your life, it’s your choice, and it’s your belief. My life, my choice and my
belief is “Islam”. I will not choose you out of my belief but I do believe if
there’s always a chance for me to achieve what I believed...
Now,
3 years has passed… Did you know that for these past 3 years, I keep on
believed in, that someday you might see me through this honest sight of mine…?
But, it keeps being my illusion on you that will always be a ‘might’… Yea~~ you
might see me…but just as ‘me’ who has nothing to do with you… or someone who is
too religious for you to get close. Might be true… also, must be true… It is 3
years, I know you a bit… and that ‘bit’ might make it true. Never mind, it’s
all my delusion anyway.
Just
like a song “In the end, you’ll say ‘Oh My Gosh’, you’ll have to say ‘Oh My
Gosh’, for sure ‘Oh My Gosh’, why are you the only one having no idea? I’m out
of breath, again out of breath, been out of breath, I’m wounded, I dedicate
myself, and I can’t miss you.” Yup, it’s only me here alone struggling to
forget you, trying to not missing you. I’ll keep you lock in my lips forever
because you’re only visible in my eyes. Only the tears that fill my eyes know
who you are…
“Are
you my . . . destiny?”……This question keeps on emerged in my heart for these
whole times. So, should I keep on cherish you for this time being? Once, I told
you “Don’t love! Because it might hurt you!” but then, why can’t me restrain my
heart from loving you deeper! Should I keep on loving you…alone? Can’t you hear
my honest wish whispered to your heart days and nights? I have lived this life
with this love just by remember your name quietly in my invocation. Praising My
Lord, Allah the Almighty, hoping that one day you’ll realize, how deep is my
love for you, if you’re really my . . . .!
Sincerely,
-Najjah-
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