Friday, 17 August 2012


For the first time you pass by my eyes, my heart asked me “Who is he?” My conscious mind tried to answer “He will be your new friend, in some times...” Then my heart said again, “Why did he visible at my eyesight, who is he??” and again my conscious mind tried to answer “Might be…because he resembled someone you might know…” after that, my heart spoke “Are you my . . . destiny?”…

After some times, now we’re friend. But we’re rarely talked to each other because you are a boy and I’m a girl. Some moments, I greet you in chat room, just to get to know some other side of you, might be your thinking, or your principles in life, your motivation or your hobbies and likes. Also can be your thought of me? Hmm…that’s how I know you. More or less, it’s just you who might not even aware of my intention. But then it’s alright, it’s not your fault at all. It’s my own fault, for admiring you in silence.

I do realize this one thing that will always keep us in distance, “our religion”. It’s your life, it’s your choice, and it’s your belief. My life, my choice and my belief is “Islam”. I will not choose you out of my belief but I do believe if there’s always a chance for me to achieve what I believed... 

Now, 3 years has passed… Did you know that for these past 3 years, I keep on believed in, that someday you might see me through this honest sight of mine…? But, it keeps being my illusion on you that will always be a ‘might’… Yea~~ you might see me…but just as ‘me’ who has nothing to do with you… or someone who is too religious for you to get close. Might be true… also, must be true… It is 3 years, I know you a bit… and that ‘bit’ might make it true. Never mind, it’s all my delusion anyway.

Just like a song “In the end, you’ll say ‘Oh My Gosh’, you’ll have to say ‘Oh My Gosh’, for sure ‘Oh My Gosh’, why are you the only one having no idea? I’m out of breath, again out of breath, been out of breath, I’m wounded, I dedicate myself, and I can’t miss you.” Yup, it’s only me here alone struggling to forget you, trying to not missing you. I’ll keep you lock in my lips forever because you’re only visible in my eyes. Only the tears that fill my eyes know who you are…

“Are you my . . . destiny?”……This question keeps on emerged in my heart for these whole times. So, should I keep on cherish you for this time being? Once, I told you “Don’t love! Because it might hurt you!” but then, why can’t me restrain my heart from loving you deeper! Should I keep on loving you…alone? Can’t you hear my honest wish whispered to your heart days and nights? I have lived this life with this love just by remember your name quietly in my invocation. Praising My Lord, Allah the Almighty, hoping that one day you’ll realize, how deep is my love for you, if you’re really my . . . .!



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